Day 5- Eating Out

Eating out is fun.... that's what most families say. For our family eating out is a range of emotions from anticipation, anger, frustration, embarrassment, facing reality and finally relief.

We went to Fazoli's tonight to eat with part of my family. It's always an adventure and my family is pretty use to it. I am thankful that they take all the range of emotions with us and still agree to eat out with us. I know their lives would be much simpler if they didn't include us in their meal outings.

Our range of emotions start with the anticipation of going out. What's going to happen this time? Who will I see that I might know? And what characteristic of Asperger's will he chose to display this time?

The anger comes when he chooses NOT to eat the dinner he chose to order. He also chooses to run around the restaurant in order to avoid Mom or Dad requiring that he sit in his chair and wait while everyone else finishes their dinner.

The frustration comes when I take a deep breath and realize he is just acting like an Asperger's child would in a situation of sensory overload and shear boredom. This is my life! I don't have a life of perfect little angels who sit at the table politely and wait for everyone else to finish their meals. I have a child whose social skills are so developmentally behind that he thinks it's appropriate to pass gas from both ends and laugh hysterically at it. He thinks that running around in a restaurant disturbing everyone else is appropriate behavior.

The embarrassment quickly follows the frustration. Once I realize what characteristic he is displaying, I immediately want to crawl into a booth and just let him run around..... not acknowledging he was mine. Why can't he be 'normal'? After six years he doesn't understand not to bother others while they are eating? He doesn't understand that jumping from seat to seat at the table is not appropriate behavior? How have I failed as a parent in teaching him proper manners and behavior in public? Do people think this is how we really act at home too? Wait.... IT IS how we act at home!

Now comes the realizing reality. My life is not normal. It never has been and never will be! My child will probably never understand exactly how he should act in public. If he remembers not to run around the restaurant, chances are he will forget to use his inside voice or his utensils. There is only so many pieces he can put together at once for social skills. His brain runs so fast that he can't slow down and remember them all.

FINALLY RELIEF! It's over. We have left the building! On the way home my husband and I always seem to rate the outing. How bad was it really? Not to bad, it could have been better, we need to remember not to go out on days he is overstimulated, it will be a while before we go back there and we aren't leaving the house for weeks!

This particular outing tonight..... it could have been better.