Day 21- Kindergarten Part 2

We made it through Christmas with no big problems. But when we got back to school things seemed to really change. I was up at the school three times a week most of the time. His problems seemed to be starting in PE or Music, but would continue in the classroom. As a parent I was at my breaking point of not knowing what to do. I am sure the school was the same way.

We started a behavior chart for him and it worked for a couple of weeks, then we were right back to square one. The disciplinary principal was trying all sorts of rewards. He would get to go to the office everyday and pick out a candy, then at the end of the week if he had so many good days he would get a free movie pass (one of his favorite things to do). But each reward we tried only lasted for a little bit.

He continued to see the psychologist who prescribed Concerta for him. We were hoping to take away the depression and keep the behavior under control. It did the exact opposite. His teacher said from the time he walked in the classroom until about 10:00am in the morning (approximately two hours) he would just sit like a zombie, no expression whatsoever. Then about 10 he would liven up a bit and spend the rest of the day unable to control his behavior.

This went on for a few months. None of us knew what to do, but nothing we were doing was working. I was going to bed every night crying. I didn't know what to do with him. I felt so alone.

He was getting in trouble in PE and the punishment is to do jumping jacks. T his is when his huge blow ups would happen. It seemed as though it was an act of defiance, but I finally asked him why he wouldn't do the jumping jacks and he said the other kids laughed at him when he did them. He was insecure. So we talked to the PE teacher and tried to get her to change the choice of punishment. She refused to do so unless we had something in writing.

Then in May we had a huge blowup. I got a call from the school that he had beaten up a little girl in his PE class. I drove up to the school in tears. What had gone so wrong that he felt the need to hurt another student in his class, let alone a little girl?

I got up to the school and Tanner could see that I had been crying. He immediately started crying too. He knew he had made me sad and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

The story from the teachers... For absolutely no reason whatsoever Tanner had waylaid (actually word used by the teacher) on a little girl that never does anything wrong. To the point that she was in the nurse's office when I got there. His PE teacher went on and on about how this little girl never gets into trouble and she always does what she is asked and there was no possible reason that Tanner should have waylaid on her like that. The PE teacher was extremely concerned that Tanner owed her some jumping jacks for the incident and wanted to make sure that he was going to give them to her. I was too distressed at that point in time to say anything.

They asked that I take him home for the day. This was the first time all year he got sent home. So we discussed what punishments he would have when he got back to school, made sure he understood them and I took him home. He didn't have any emotion the whole way home. He knew what he needed to do when he got home, he went straight to his bedroom. After we gathered our wits and I explained everything they had told me to my husband, we then went into Tanner's room to talk to him about the incident.

His account of the incident changed our entire outlook on his situation and it was then that we realized he had no control over his behavior....