We start playing soccer tomorrow! This will be his third season and his last. We play an indoor soft soccer and they only allow up to 1st grade to play it. He is very excited and can't wait!
We have only been to one practice. They practice on Thursday nights and if you read yesterday's blog you will see that we were at a concert on Thursday night. This presented a HUGE problem with him. Being a routine child and very knowledgeable on what his routine is, he knew that he had soccer practice last night. He was extremely upset that he was missing practice. I get the feeling he feels like he will miss something extremely important, but I could be wrong and he could just simply want to go to soccer practice and play. I assured him that I called his coach and she said it was ok to miss. I also assured him that I had all the information he needed to play in Saturday's game.
I am thankful that this season is only four weeks long. By the time we get into the swing of it, it will be over! He enjoys playing soccer, but are not sure where he gets it? It could be a need to be different from his older brother or it could just be that he likes to run. In any case, he is a decent soccer player and loves to participate.
Mom and Dad are just happy that he wants to be around other kids!
Showing posts with label aspergers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aspergers. Show all posts
Friday, January 15, 2010
Day 14- Concert
We went a concert last night. Drove two hours one way to see the band Kutless. This is one of our favorite bands. This time Mom came prepared! I had a headset for him to wear!
We had an awesome time. Concerts for us are fun, but physically draining for myself. He wants to go, but the noise is often to loud for him. So, I end up holding him the entire time. It's not that bad, but he does weigh fifty pounds. I have to be organized enough to wear cloths that can be pulled on (usually a t-shirt), carry very little into the concert and be rested enough to hold him.
It's a workout to hold him the whole time, but very rewarding. I have the opportunity to 'catch' him singing. When he thinks no one is looking he will sing along with the songs that he knows. It takes him less than one line to figure out if he knows the song or not. Once he figures out his eyes light up and he says, "Mom, this song is on K Lub!" (KLOVE)
They have a new album out that is a worship album. One of my favorite songs is "That's What Faith Can Do."
The chorus is so moving to me. No matter how far the sky has fallen in the past year, we have never given up hope. I know that there will be new dreams built and they will move mountains that I didn't even see coming.
And I can't wait!
We had an awesome time. Concerts for us are fun, but physically draining for myself. He wants to go, but the noise is often to loud for him. So, I end up holding him the entire time. It's not that bad, but he does weigh fifty pounds. I have to be organized enough to wear cloths that can be pulled on (usually a t-shirt), carry very little into the concert and be rested enough to hold him.
It's a workout to hold him the whole time, but very rewarding. I have the opportunity to 'catch' him singing. When he thinks no one is looking he will sing along with the songs that he knows. It takes him less than one line to figure out if he knows the song or not. Once he figures out his eyes light up and he says, "Mom, this song is on K Lub!" (KLOVE)
They have a new album out that is a worship album. One of my favorite songs is "That's What Faith Can Do."
"I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains, Hope that doesn’t ever end, Even when the sky is falling, I’ve seen miracles just happen, Silent prayers get answered, Broken hearts become brand new, That’s what faith can do"~~Kutless
The chorus is so moving to me. No matter how far the sky has fallen in the past year, we have never given up hope. I know that there will be new dreams built and they will move mountains that I didn't even see coming.
And I can't wait!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Day 7- To Tell or Not To Tell
One of the hardest parts about having a child with Asperger's for us is what information to do tell people that do not know. Who do we tell? How much information do you give them? When is the best time to tell them? How do you respond to their questions?
I still have a very hard time telling people without crying. It's part of the process that we as parents go through. But it's still hard. My life as I knew it changed back on September 10th. It will never be the same. He is not a neuro-typical child.
So far here are a few of the types of people that we have had to tell and how we handled it.
1. Family~ obviously they are given the most detailed information that we have. They were told first and they were given plenty of opportunity to ask as many questions as they wanted to with us giving as honest answers as we can. There were a few phone calls made, but in the technological world we also used email and skype to tell those who are hard to reach.
2. Friends~ This group was told as we saw them or they called and asked how things were going. They are an ongoing group because I still just saw some good friends in the grocery store today and talked with them a bit about it.
3. School~ They need to know what they can do to help him. The only people at the school that know right now are a few close to the situation. As needed we will tell the rest.
4. Sports Organizations~ This is a difficult group. These volunteers who coach him will only coach him for a short period of time, but how they handle him will give him the impression of the sport that he will keep for the rest of his life. He plays two sports, indoor soccer (which actually started today) and baseball. We are a baseball family and come the end of February you will hear a lot about baseball. It is his favorite sport by far.
5. Church~ This group is probably for us the MOST IMPORTANT. As Christians we have a responsibility to make sure that this child grows up in a Christ centered loving environment. We have to have him in a church that has the resources to teach him.
6.Public Servants~ For our family this group is not a crucial as it could be. Our child can identify himself, he can respond to questions that are asked and he can tell us if there is something wrong. But as he is older and is out on his own, this group will become more critical.
7. General Public~ Right now my thoughts are that they are on a complete need to know basis and most of the general public doesn't need to know. I don't feel the need to explain to the people at the restaurant that he has Asperger's. However, if we were ever in a situation that his behavior was causing us to be told to leave, then I might.
Groups 1,2 and 3 are given more of an opportunity to ask questions and given detailed answers.
Groups 4,5,6 and 7 are given or will be given this explanation.
My child has Asperger's. It's an autism spectrum disorder. This causes him to become over stimulated very easily which might cause him to act out. If you have any questions don't ever hesitate to ask.
Then hopefully they will ask a few questions that are important for them to know to help him.
At church I was asked, "When he gets over stimulated, what should we do?"
At baseball practice I was asked, "He was being bullied by another child tonight and started hitting him. Is there anything we can do to make sure that doesn't happen again?"
The questions haven't gotten any easier for me. Maybe by the anniversary of his diagnosis I won't cry when I have to tell someone new.
Then again, maybe this is part of the process and I will cry for the rest of my life.
I still have a very hard time telling people without crying. It's part of the process that we as parents go through. But it's still hard. My life as I knew it changed back on September 10th. It will never be the same. He is not a neuro-typical child.
So far here are a few of the types of people that we have had to tell and how we handled it.
1. Family~ obviously they are given the most detailed information that we have. They were told first and they were given plenty of opportunity to ask as many questions as they wanted to with us giving as honest answers as we can. There were a few phone calls made, but in the technological world we also used email and skype to tell those who are hard to reach.
2. Friends~ This group was told as we saw them or they called and asked how things were going. They are an ongoing group because I still just saw some good friends in the grocery store today and talked with them a bit about it.
3. School~ They need to know what they can do to help him. The only people at the school that know right now are a few close to the situation. As needed we will tell the rest.
4. Sports Organizations~ This is a difficult group. These volunteers who coach him will only coach him for a short period of time, but how they handle him will give him the impression of the sport that he will keep for the rest of his life. He plays two sports, indoor soccer (which actually started today) and baseball. We are a baseball family and come the end of February you will hear a lot about baseball. It is his favorite sport by far.
5. Church~ This group is probably for us the MOST IMPORTANT. As Christians we have a responsibility to make sure that this child grows up in a Christ centered loving environment. We have to have him in a church that has the resources to teach him.
6.Public Servants~ For our family this group is not a crucial as it could be. Our child can identify himself, he can respond to questions that are asked and he can tell us if there is something wrong. But as he is older and is out on his own, this group will become more critical.
7. General Public~ Right now my thoughts are that they are on a complete need to know basis and most of the general public doesn't need to know. I don't feel the need to explain to the people at the restaurant that he has Asperger's. However, if we were ever in a situation that his behavior was causing us to be told to leave, then I might.
Groups 1,2 and 3 are given more of an opportunity to ask questions and given detailed answers.
Groups 4,5,6 and 7 are given or will be given this explanation.
My child has Asperger's. It's an autism spectrum disorder. This causes him to become over stimulated very easily which might cause him to act out. If you have any questions don't ever hesitate to ask.
Then hopefully they will ask a few questions that are important for them to know to help him.
At church I was asked, "When he gets over stimulated, what should we do?"
At baseball practice I was asked, "He was being bullied by another child tonight and started hitting him. Is there anything we can do to make sure that doesn't happen again?"
The questions haven't gotten any easier for me. Maybe by the anniversary of his diagnosis I won't cry when I have to tell someone new.
Then again, maybe this is part of the process and I will cry for the rest of my life.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Day 4- Therapy
Today is the first opportunity for me to blog about therapy. To be quite honest with you, it will be blogged about quite a bit. He goes twice a week for up to three hours at a time. Occupational and Speech both days and on Wednesdays he has Feeding Group.
I have to pick him up from school early which presents us with our first challenge. As a boy who THRIVES and I do mean THRIVES on routine, leaving school early is not what he wants to do. He feels as though he is missing the final part of the day. I pick him up about 20 minutes early and he only misses clean up and reading circle, but that is enough for him to feel uneasy. Most kids would LOVE to leave school early. I hear the entire night, "What if Mrs. T hands out an assignment after I leave? What if she tells us tomorrow is pajama day and I miss it?" This is a routine we go through EVERY time we leave school early for therapy. Although Mrs. T is very good about communicating with me everyday and he had tremendous respect, love and adoration for her, he still is extremely worried he will miss something.
The second challenge is convincing him that therapy is not a punishment, but is meant to help him. He doesn't like going because it's 'boring' and takes away from his TV time. He sees kids there that are far worse in speech and physical abilities and I know that it scares him. It shouldn't, but it does. I fear that he is afraid he will become them. At age 6, you don't understand that they were born that way.
Those are my two main challenges when I take him to therapy, twice a week. During the summer he goes to therapy school and that presents more challenges along the way.
I know deep in my heart that he needs therapy. It will be an ongoing production that is going to teach him the social skills and behavioral skills he needs to be a productive adult.
Until then, I will spend my days convincing a six year old that it's ok to miss a little bit of school, when you are going to therapy.
I have to pick him up from school early which presents us with our first challenge. As a boy who THRIVES and I do mean THRIVES on routine, leaving school early is not what he wants to do. He feels as though he is missing the final part of the day. I pick him up about 20 minutes early and he only misses clean up and reading circle, but that is enough for him to feel uneasy. Most kids would LOVE to leave school early. I hear the entire night, "What if Mrs. T hands out an assignment after I leave? What if she tells us tomorrow is pajama day and I miss it?" This is a routine we go through EVERY time we leave school early for therapy. Although Mrs. T is very good about communicating with me everyday and he had tremendous respect, love and adoration for her, he still is extremely worried he will miss something.
The second challenge is convincing him that therapy is not a punishment, but is meant to help him. He doesn't like going because it's 'boring' and takes away from his TV time. He sees kids there that are far worse in speech and physical abilities and I know that it scares him. It shouldn't, but it does. I fear that he is afraid he will become them. At age 6, you don't understand that they were born that way.
Those are my two main challenges when I take him to therapy, twice a week. During the summer he goes to therapy school and that presents more challenges along the way.
I know deep in my heart that he needs therapy. It will be an ongoing production that is going to teach him the social skills and behavioral skills he needs to be a productive adult.
Until then, I will spend my days convincing a six year old that it's ok to miss a little bit of school, when you are going to therapy.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Day 3- Sunday = Church
Today has been pretty quiet so far. My mother kept the older boys last night and got them ready for church this morning. So I had a quiet night to blog and go to bed early.
My family has been searching for a church that was equipped to accommodate a child that is high functioning Asperger's. My husband and I have always said we could be fed anywhere, but our children were number one when it came to finding a church home. We think we have found our home. They are always willing and able to take suggestions that we have and they have a classroom for special needs children, so if he does get over whelmed in a regular classroom he can easily be moved in there for a cool down period.
I don't think that when the new idea of sensory overload on neuro-typical children will have them enjoying learning about God, Jesus and being a Christian was introduced the people who came up with this new "Sunday School" had any idea what they were getting themselves into. Yes, for about 95% of the children the lights flashing, drums beating, music to loud, everyone dancing and jumping around is fun, inviting and makes them eager to pay attention. But for the 5% of children that are not neuro-typical this is not the greatest concept in the world. In order for a church to implement this style of class, they must have a safe place for children who get over stimulated to go. Unfortunately, there are churches around us who have not figured this out, or who simply do not have the resources to accommodate these children. This is extremely unfortunate for those parents who are trying to find a place for themselves and their children to worship and love the Lord.
We have been very fortunate in this regards. We have found a church that is willing to communicate with us what happens during class time. They are not afraid to work with him and help him calm down. They ask us for advice on what to do in situations and even have the manpower to assign him an assistant all to his own on the days that he is a little out of hand.
That was the case today. I could tell that the overload from spending two nights away from home and not having his routine was getting to him. I took a moment to find one of the workers in charge and advice them of his state of being today. With that he was given a hug, told that he was going to have an awesome time at church this morning and escorted into the worship room to find his assistant for the day. What an awesome relief I had worshiping this morning, knowing that my child was being handled in a caring and loving way.
On a side note, the sermon this morning was really interesting. When I started this blog it was going to focus on Asperger's and my child that has it, but this morning when I was listening to the sermon I realized that God is also going to be an important part of this blog. We walk right beside him everyday with our children and want very much for them to know and understand the grace he has given us.
This morning our sermon was about New Year's Resolutions. Hmmmm.... God sure does talk to you when he wants to! Basically we were given seven things that we need to remember to resolve ourselves. I only want to focus on one of those here. And I know there is never anyway I will be able to explain it to you as well as the pastor did.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. (NIV)
"God knows what's best for me and I can trust God 'No Matter What.'" Those were the exact words that came out of the pastor's mouth this morning. Seems fitting that not only do we are there for him "No Matter What," but God is also!
My family has been searching for a church that was equipped to accommodate a child that is high functioning Asperger's. My husband and I have always said we could be fed anywhere, but our children were number one when it came to finding a church home. We think we have found our home. They are always willing and able to take suggestions that we have and they have a classroom for special needs children, so if he does get over whelmed in a regular classroom he can easily be moved in there for a cool down period.
I don't think that when the new idea of sensory overload on neuro-typical children will have them enjoying learning about God, Jesus and being a Christian was introduced the people who came up with this new "Sunday School" had any idea what they were getting themselves into. Yes, for about 95% of the children the lights flashing, drums beating, music to loud, everyone dancing and jumping around is fun, inviting and makes them eager to pay attention. But for the 5% of children that are not neuro-typical this is not the greatest concept in the world. In order for a church to implement this style of class, they must have a safe place for children who get over stimulated to go. Unfortunately, there are churches around us who have not figured this out, or who simply do not have the resources to accommodate these children. This is extremely unfortunate for those parents who are trying to find a place for themselves and their children to worship and love the Lord.
We have been very fortunate in this regards. We have found a church that is willing to communicate with us what happens during class time. They are not afraid to work with him and help him calm down. They ask us for advice on what to do in situations and even have the manpower to assign him an assistant all to his own on the days that he is a little out of hand.
That was the case today. I could tell that the overload from spending two nights away from home and not having his routine was getting to him. I took a moment to find one of the workers in charge and advice them of his state of being today. With that he was given a hug, told that he was going to have an awesome time at church this morning and escorted into the worship room to find his assistant for the day. What an awesome relief I had worshiping this morning, knowing that my child was being handled in a caring and loving way.
On a side note, the sermon this morning was really interesting. When I started this blog it was going to focus on Asperger's and my child that has it, but this morning when I was listening to the sermon I realized that God is also going to be an important part of this blog. We walk right beside him everyday with our children and want very much for them to know and understand the grace he has given us.
This morning our sermon was about New Year's Resolutions. Hmmmm.... God sure does talk to you when he wants to! Basically we were given seven things that we need to remember to resolve ourselves. I only want to focus on one of those here. And I know there is never anyway I will be able to explain it to you as well as the pastor did.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. (NIV)
"God knows what's best for me and I can trust God 'No Matter What.'" Those were the exact words that came out of the pastor's mouth this morning. Seems fitting that not only do we are there for him "No Matter What," but God is also!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Day 1- The Introduction
I am starting this blog as a New Year's Resolution. In my adult life, I cannot remember having a New Year's Resolution. This is a subject I am passionate about and I hope in the next year you will enjoy reading the stories of our lives.
Let me introduce you to my family:
Zach is my husband. We have been married for nine years. The day we got married we pledged to be together "No Matter What". This has been in our hearts for many years and recently we have extended that verbally to our children.
Austin is my oldest. He is nine and in the third grade. He loves to play baseball and work on 'scientific stuff'. Although he will not be the focus of this blog, it is important for you to know that he has ADHD. He loves his brothers, but doesn't understand why Tanner is different and embarrassing.
Tanner is my middle child. He is six years old and is in the first grade. He will be the focus of the blog. On September 10, 2009 he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's in on the autism spectrum. This came after many years of trying to figure out why he was so difficult to deal with. I will go more into detail on his diagnosis and the signs we missed throughout the year. He loves playing baseball and watching TV, playing video games and just being at home.
Trey is my youngest child. He just turned 18 months. Although he isn't old enough to be a part of the wonder of Asperger's you will hear about him from time to time.
My name is Stephanie. I am a stay at home mom. I stay very active in our church, the boys elementary school. I recently watched a movie that inspired me to write this blog. I am going to commit to one year of writing, with the exception of a couple of days in June you will receive a new post everyday.
I hope that my stories can inspire each of you to follow your heart and be passionate about something. 1 in 94 children are diagnosed with Autism and 1 in 51 boys. That means in our elementary school alone there are approximately 8 children with and ASD (autism spectrum disorder). It also means that everyone in this world knows someone with autism. For me I never thought that it would be my son.
Wish me luck! This is a tremendous task that I am about to take on, however, I believe that this is the first step in raising awareness.
Let me introduce you to my family:
Zach is my husband. We have been married for nine years. The day we got married we pledged to be together "No Matter What". This has been in our hearts for many years and recently we have extended that verbally to our children.
Austin is my oldest. He is nine and in the third grade. He loves to play baseball and work on 'scientific stuff'. Although he will not be the focus of this blog, it is important for you to know that he has ADHD. He loves his brothers, but doesn't understand why Tanner is different and embarrassing.
Tanner is my middle child. He is six years old and is in the first grade. He will be the focus of the blog. On September 10, 2009 he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's in on the autism spectrum. This came after many years of trying to figure out why he was so difficult to deal with. I will go more into detail on his diagnosis and the signs we missed throughout the year. He loves playing baseball and watching TV, playing video games and just being at home.
Trey is my youngest child. He just turned 18 months. Although he isn't old enough to be a part of the wonder of Asperger's you will hear about him from time to time.
My name is Stephanie. I am a stay at home mom. I stay very active in our church, the boys elementary school. I recently watched a movie that inspired me to write this blog. I am going to commit to one year of writing, with the exception of a couple of days in June you will receive a new post everyday.
I hope that my stories can inspire each of you to follow your heart and be passionate about something. 1 in 94 children are diagnosed with Autism and 1 in 51 boys. That means in our elementary school alone there are approximately 8 children with and ASD (autism spectrum disorder). It also means that everyone in this world knows someone with autism. For me I never thought that it would be my son.
Wish me luck! This is a tremendous task that I am about to take on, however, I believe that this is the first step in raising awareness.
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