Friday, February 19, 2010

Day 34- Road Trip #1

Right after we got the news from the therapist of the possibility of PDD-NOS, we left and went to see family more than 22 hours away. My mother, my brother, the three boys and I all piled into my mini van and headed that way!

We spent two days getting there, stopping halfway in Denver, Colorado to spend the night and eat at one of our favorite places, Casa Bonita. Also known to our family as Costco Bonita, as Tanner has named it. This is a Mexican food restaurant that is not famous for it's food, but rather it's atmosphere.

With the band aid ripped off and my wound of a expectation of my child exposed we went to eat there. They have cliff divers, pinata's being broken, a gun fight and many other stimulating activities. Not sure what to expect from him, I'll admit, I was nervous.

The first time we had gone, it had not gone well and we ended up losing him in the crowd. A scared moment for both Mom and child, he was only about three years old and didn't know what to do, so he just started screaming. At the time, I was completely embarrassed by his actions, but thinking back on it, I should be thankful that he did and we were able to locate him fairly quickly.

We got our food and sat down in a corner of a fairly quite room and ate our dinner. During that time we were able to get up a couple of times and see the cliff divers, but were also hidden when the gun fight came out.

Then it came time for the pinata breaking.

My brother took both boys down to see it and I finished up my dinner for a few minutes. Then I joined them. When I walked down, Tanner was clinging to my brother with his hands over his ears anticipating a loud noise. Before, I would have taken his hands down and forced him to listen to it. It would have result in him screaming his head off, anticipating this loud noise that we all know won't happen, but because I was aware of the possibility of a diagnosis, I was able to shrug it off and know that it made him feel safe in a world that he has little control over.

We had great dinner! One of the best we have ever had!

For me this was the first time I was able to let loose and know that the little things aren't important and they make him feel safe and I was the one who needed to change, not him.

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